Media

Sex and Covid-19: Recommendations from the NYC Health Department

I think I have a crush on the NYC Health Department. <3

It pretty much says what you’d expect: the government is asking you not to leave the house, which means they recommend having sex with yourself or the sex partner(s) you live with. It also says a thing or two that may surprise you: since Covid-19 has been found in the feces of people who are infected, you could contract the virus via rimming (mouth on anus). Read the full document HERE.

But I just love that they wrote it (and in a well executed, sex ed approved, non-judgmental way). I mean, you know me, talking about how major life events impact our sexuality is my thing. And this pandemic is a major life event for all of us. So here’s some straightforward information about what that means for our sex lives right now.

They also published a document entitled “Coping with Stress During Infectious Disease Outbreaks,” which contains a great summary of the ways stress affects us physically, mentally, emotionally and behaviorally. If you need a reminder that suddenly not being able to remember anything, snapping at your partner, and eating more than usual are physiological, not “your fault,” and natural reactions to a stressful situation, check it out. And if you want to try TRE® to relieve some of that stress, check out TRE International’s free video teaching the exercises HERE or schedule an online intro session (currently 50% off) HERE.

Great Article About the "Wheel of Consent" on Kinkly.com

An overview of the 3-Minute Game and the quadrants of the wheel, plus some great quotes from Betty. Click the post title to go directly to the article.

Want to learn more about embodied consent and how the quadrants can inform a deeper understanding of your desires and preferences? I’d be honored to support you. Contact me for your free consultation.

"BDSM as a Tonic for Serious Illness," in Scientific American

“BDSM…can provide an unexpected tool kit for those faced with body-altering, life-changing, serious illnesses. These tools include redefinition, acceptance and connection.”

Yes! Sociologist Elizabeth Anne Wood beautifully and succinctly articulates the role our sexuality and sexual expression can play in navigating the experience of illness, a lesson she learned by witnessing the experience of her mother during kidney cancer and subsequent dialysis. I love so many things about this article and can’t wait to check our her recently published full length book entitled Bound: A Daugher, A Domme, and an End-of-Life Story.

Click the blog title to read the full article.

Thomas Talks About Coming Out. Twice.

I love this brief (13 minute) podcast episode hosted by Erica Heilman in conversation with Thomas Caswell. Check it out!

“Autism doesn’t describe a person. If you’ve met one person with autism, then you’ve met one person…with autism. But over the last couple years Thomas has been coming out of the closet, in stages. And along with the common difficulties of coming out, there are some special difficulties if you’re a person with a disability. In this show, Thomas talks about growing up with autism, and growing into his life as a gay man.”

Inclusive Erotica for All of Us

“People with disabilities are often left out of conversations about sex as well as sexy time resources. But like in all areas of life, it’s important for people with disabilities to see themselves represented with sexual agency in erotic works of art, including film, literature, art, theater and photography.”

It’s important for all of us to see representations of ourselves in all kinds of media, and it’s important for all of us to see all kinds of bodies, desires, and sexual expressions in media. Inclusive erotica, inclusive sexuality education, accessible sex…these things make sex better for all of us.

So whether you identify as a person with a disability or as non-disabled, check out the incredible writers, artists, and performers on The Mighty’s list of Inclusive Erotica Featuring People With Disabilities You Can Read, Watch and Enjoy. This list is going to keep me busy for awhile!

Autism, Neuordiversity, and Disability Justice

Autism, Neuordiversity, and Disability Justice

"Instead, what autism really is is an enormous population of men and women with tremendous potential who are being denied what everyone deserves: the chance to live a happy, healthy, safe, secure and productive life. Viewed in this light, autistic people are one of the largest disenfranchised minorities in the world." --Steve Silberman

Even Teen Vogue is talking about sex and disability!

My beloved colleague River Drosera has told me more than once that Teen Vogue kicks ass, and I'm delighted to see that their ass-kickery includes discussing my favorite double taboo: sexuality and disability.  Last week was a little heavy on the soul-crushery, world-weary factor for me, so I'm going to choose to frame this as a sign of cultural change on the way.  Thanks, Teen Vogue, for joining and broadening this conversation!  Read the article here.